With the neverending amount of dating apps, one would think that’s become easier to date. However, that’s most certainly not the case nowadays.
I can certainly see why you have no desire to date anyone, especially for the fact that there have been plenty of other people who have said the same thing.
So is this something that’s normal? And what are the reasons as to why you feel this way? I’m going to answer those big questions as well as how you can move forward.
Is It Normal To Not Want To Date Anyone?
Contrary to popular belief, it is actually completely normal for you to not want to date anyone at the time. Many feel the same way as you.
Dating isn’t the easiest thing in the world, and I would know, as I’ve fallen flat on my face more times than I care to even mention (figuratively speaking, of course).
Plus, people always talk about how “easy” it is to find your soul mate and reach for living happily ever after. As you might have realized, it doesn’t always end up that way.
Not only is it normal, but there are also a lot of reasons as to why you feel this way.
Let’s talk about those reasons, as it will help you with your situation, especially if you eventually want to get back into the game.
Why You Have No Desire To Date Anyone
You might not want to date anyone because dating has become more difficult, people’s attention span is very low, and it feels like no one is putting in any effort.
That’s only scratching the surface too, as dating has gotten more difficult for the fact that it’s so easy to interact with someone nowadays.
In my opinion, it all stems from the abundance of dating apps and what happens with these dating apps. Let’s talk more about that in detail first.
1) An Abundance Of Dating Apps
You have the ability to connect with so many matches in your area, yet dating still remains a challenge. Dating apps can be quite the problem.
The problem begins with a wide variety of dating apps being readily available. Most people use them as something to pass the time, not even putting in an ample amount of effort (more about that later).
To make matters worse, many people have reported some of the activities that happen on dating apps, and it isn’t very promising. For example:
- Some people only use dating apps for entertainment.
- Some people only use dating apps to brag about how many matches they get.
- Some people only use dating apps for growing their Instagram following (seriously).
All three of the reasons above are big reasons as to why guys specifically have given up on dating. It goes for both men and women here, as both parties are guilty of these types of activities.
One would think that all of these dating apps allow for more dating opportunities, but that hasn’t been the case for many men and women out there, and it’s getting frustrating.
Regardless, I strongly hold my stance on the abundance of dating apps, and that is the main problem when it comes to dating.
When it comes to the other reasons as to why you have no desire to date, they all go hand in hand with the abundance of dating apps. Here’s what I’m talking about.
2) People’s Attention Span Is Seriously Low
Not only do you have dating apps, but you have social media, texting, and videos. In other words, people’s attention span is at an all-time low.
The world is quickly changing, and during all of this change, I’ve taken a step back to see just how people operate online (and specifically on dating apps).
Everything is geared for us to stay on the platform for as long as platforms. This goes for:
- Dating apps: Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, etc
- Social media: Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, etc.
When you think about it, it’s very hard for someone to cut all of the distractions out of their life (there’s a lot of them), and fully commit to a conversation with you.
It’s funny to say that in such a fast-moving world today, one of the best things that someone else can give to you is their complete and undivided attention.
My guess is that you’ve come across many individuals who have certainly not done that, and it’s yet another reason to be frustrated (I’ve been there myself).
Plus, people have been so easy to give up on people that they have matched with, for a wide variety of reasons too.
Let’s talk about that next, as it’s also something that is very common to see.
3) People Aren’t Putting In An Ample Amount Of Effort
As if people being distracted wasn’t enough, people just aren’t putting an ample amount of effort into dating and forming a relationship.
It’s frustrating to even talk about it because I’ve had experience with this, but a lot of times, it’s as if people just don’t care. It’s as if they always have one foot out the door. You know, “just in case” something “goes wrong”.
Here are a few examples of how people just don’t put in the appropriate amount of effort into dating:
- Catfishing (yuck).
- Matching with you and then saying nothing.
- Going on a date with you and then ghosting you (talk about immature).
- Being blatantly rude when something doesn’t go their way (denying a hook up).
Don’t forget about responding with one-word answers. Could they possibly demonstrate any more that they don’t care? It’s like they are just going through the motions.
What makes all of this so frustrating is when you put a lot of effort into dating, only to match with others who only put a fraction of your effort into place.
Now that I think of it, they could demonstrate that they didn’t care even more, and it would be by ghosting you. Which I do have to say, is one of the most common ways of solving a problem.
It’s another problem that goes hand-in-hand with there being so many dating apps. Here’s what I mean:
- Did they get a weird vibe?
- Did you take “too long” to respond?
- Did someone disagree with something that you said?
- Or maybe, my favorite, was the sky blue and grass greener than ever?
The fact of the matter is that people will use any rhyme or reason to ghost you. They can forget about you and hop onto more apps and keep swiping right for more matches.
Just thinking about many of these scenarios gets me pretty frustrated, simply for the fact that I’ve had all of them happen to me so many times in my dating life.
That’s why I perfectly see where you are coming from when it comes to having no desire to date anymore, at least at the time.
With that being said, there is one more big reason that might be stopping you from dating.
4) Constant And Continuous Failure
Lastly, you might have lost the desire to date, anyone, due to the amount of stress, frustration, and even failure that you’ve had to endure.
I’ll state it again, and it’s the fact that dating isn’t always going to be a walk in the park. Some parts of dating will be easier than others, but you can expect there to be many challenges.
However, it gets hard to keep wanting to “get back on the dating horse” when you keep running into many of the problems that I’ve described in this article so far.
Here are some of the biggest reasons why dating can be so stressful:
- Getting catfished.
- People not putting in any effort.
- People constantly wanting to hook up with you.
- Going on a date with someone and then they ghost you.
- Matching (on dating apps) and then them saying nothing.
- Having a great conversation with someone until they ghost you for no reason.
It’s one thing to experience some of these stressful moments, but when they continue to pile up and repeat themselves? The desire to date anyone gets thrown out the window.
I want to say, once again, that I completely see why you’ve lost the desire to date anyone and it’s completely normal.
So now that you’re aware of many of the reasons as to why you’ve lost the desire to date, allow me to help you when it comes to eventually getting back into the dating game.
How To Get The Desire To Date Again
If you want to get the desire to date again, the first step is going to revolve around taking a break from dating.
You’ve made it clear that you’ve lost the desire to date at the time, and that’s completely fine. You can use this time to focus on things that you know you love doing.
Either way, allow me to walk you through the three helpful steps in a little bit more detail.
1) Take A Break
The first step revolves around taking a complete break from dating, in every way possible.
At this time, dating shouldn’t be anywhere in your mind as you’ll be focusing on other things that bring more joy to you, as well as focusing on yourself (more on those soon).
To further help you take a break from dating, here are some actions that you can take:
- Delete ALL dating apps from your phone.
- Don’t go on any dates yourself if anyone is interested.
- Let your friends know that you’re not going on any dates (they won’t set you up).
This will help you avoid any possibility of dating anyone during this time, plus you won’t have to stress out about matching with anyone, being catfished, ghosted, etc.
2) Focus On Improving Yourself
The next step revolves around improving yourself, in any way that you can think of (that you would actually like to do).
Ironically enough, I’ve heard many people say that they had the best dating experiences when they worked on themselves first.
It’s as if by working on yourself more, you attract better people into your life.
It’s a way of naturally weeding out a lot of people that you probably wouldn’t want to match with in the first place. Here are a few great methods for working on yourself:
- Reading more.
- Actively working out or going to the gym.
- Starting a side hustle or maybe even your own business.
- Eating higher-quality foods and focusing on your health.
The list goes on and on, but you know what you like the best, and there are plenty of ways to focus on yourself and start improving yourself.
3) Find Activities And Hobbies That You Love
Last but not least, you want to find some activities and hobbies that you love, and just start doing them.
This is highly recommended for quite a few reasons:
- It can also help you work on yourself.
- These fun activities can replace the stress of dating.
- They will also give you something that can take your mind off of dating.
In other words, momentarily replace dating with fun activities of your choice. After some time, you’ll be replenished, renewed, and revitalized where you can put your best foot forward with dating again.
I Have No Desire To Date Anyone: Final Words
It is completely normal for you to have no desire to date anyone anymore, especially if it was after a breakup or a long streak of bad dates.
Either way, make sure that you take a little break from the dating game so that you can:
- Improve yourself.
- Focus on some fun activities.
- Take your mind off of dating at the time.
After all, all of those dating apps aren’t going anywhere, and you can always return to the game whenever you’re ready… whenever that may be.
