It’s awkward. It’s uncomfortable. It’s cringeworthy.
This can certainly be the reality when it comes to flirting, but what are some of the big reasons for feeling this way?
Let’s talk more about this topic, you’ll get some tips to help smoothen out the process too.
Why Does Flirting Make Me Cringe And Feel Uncomfortable?
Flirting can make you feel uncomfortable because you might be attempting to flirt with the wrong person, at the wrong place, at the wrong time.
Face it, there are a lot of variables that can interfere with your want and need to flirt with someone special.
Setting that aside, for now, let’s talk more about the biggest reasons as to why you associated flirting with feeling uncomfortable. You’ll also get some tips to help you out in the process.
1) You’re Barking Up The Wrong Tree
Here’s the biggest reason why flirting can be so uncomfortable, and it’s for the simple fact that you just might be attempting to flirt with the wrong person.
Nowadays, it’s so easy to flirt with someone thanks to the help of modern-day technology. Aside from flirting and being friendly in person, you also have the option to flirt via:
- Videos on social media.
- Actual phone conversations.
- Heck, you can even use Skype if you want.
Given the tremendous amount of opportunities that you have to flirt nowadays, it’s important that you get a good gauge for if you should be flirting with a person in particular.
After all, there are so many reasons as to why someone wouldn’t want to deal with any type of flirting in the first place. A few of those reasons include:
- They don’t like small talk.
- They aren’t interested in you.
- They already have a significant other.
- They aren’t looking to make any friends or mingle.
So you need to identify if this person is capable of flirting back with you. Are they currently dating someone? Are they wearing a wedding band? Have they shown any interest in you?
If you find yourself flirting and they aren’t reciprocating in the process, then that’s what can trigger the uncomfortability and awkwardness.
2) It’s The Wrong Time And Place To Flirt
There’s always a time and place for everything, and the same rings true when it comes to flirting with someone else.
You’re not alone when it comes to being uncomfortable when you’re flirting, as you might be flirting with:
- The right person…
- With the right intentions…
- And the attraction might even be there.
However, you might be flirting in the wrong place at the wrong time, and this be for both in-person and when using technology.
Think about how quickly the world is moving nowadays, and imagine that you were trying to flirt with someone through text messages. The person on the other side might be:
- Not able to get to their phone.
- And about 1,000,000 other reasons as to why it’s the wrong time.
Nevertheless, you might be attempting to flirt through text and the person just never really gets back to you, simply because they were busy. This is an example of flirting at the wrong time.
Now think about all of the possibilities of when it could be the wrong time to flirt with a person. A few examples might include:
- During work.
- During school when a class is in session.
- While someone is shopping for groceries.
- When someone is running late and is pressed for time.
- Stopping someone who is walking/running around the house.
- Stopping someone during their workout at the gym (a very big no-no).
And don’t forget about catching someone off-guard when it comes to flirting. If they don’t expect it, their body language will let you know and it can get quite awkward.
These are just 2 examples of how flirting can make you feel uncomfortable, and they just deal with attempting to flirt with the wrong person, or just doing it at the wrong time or place.
Here are a few more reasons why flirting can make you cringe.
3) You Need A Little Bit More Practice With Flirting
Flirting isn’t a one-way street, and it requires two people to be fully in the moment to make things work. Simply stated, it’s not always easy to pull off.
Given the fact that you have to worry about some of the challenges that can come up with flirting (as talked about in the previous reasons), you also might find that you need a little bit more practice.
Think about it for a second. Aren’t most activities pretty awkward and uncomfortable when you don’t have a lot of experience with them? It’s a pretty natural thing.
Here are some great tips that will help you get better when it comes to the process of flirting:
- Smile often; be playful.
- Lean in when talking to them.
- Eye contact is very important; focus on them.
- Be confident (it’s very hard to flirt when you’re feeling down).
- Slightly break the touch barrier (high-fives, secret handshakes, etc).
Another good tip is to throw them a subtle compliment and see how they react. If they also become playful and smiley in the process, then you know that you can carry on.
As you might have noticed from one of the tips above, flirting can be a physical thing too. After all, flirting can certainly be based upon attraction, and touching is a good sign of that.
At the end of the day, if you weren’t aware of many of these tips, then feel free to use them the next time you attempt to flirt with someone. The process just might be a whole lot less uncomfortable for you.
4) Because The Process Of Flirting Can Be Confusing
The entire process of flirting can be very confusing, so there’s no wonder why you find yourself feeling uncomfortable time after time.
Flirting with someone and having them show nothing back is about as uncomfortable as can be. However, there are more confusing challenges that come along with that.
Just think about all of the questions that can float through your head (or the other person’s head) when the flirting has begun:
- Is this person even interested in me?
- Should I be saying something like this at work?
- Why is this person not catching on to my flirting?
- Is this an appropriate time to flirt with them momentarily?
- I don’t see a ring on the finger, do they have a significant other?
And the questions can go on for days. The fact of the matter is that the process of flirting can become quite a confusing process, and many of these questions you won’t have the answers to.
At the end of the day, just keep in mind that it’s perfectly okay that you currently feel uncomfortable when you flirt with someone else.
It’s a perfectly natural thing to feel, and like most things in life, it will only get better in time with more practice and patience.
How Do I Become Comfortable With Flirting? Final Words
Becoming comfortable with flirting comes down to feeling confident with yourself, and practicing your flirting skills on a daily basis.
There’s a quote that I really like that I want to relate to flirting:
If you want to get better at running, run more.
It’s the same exact scenario when it comes to flirting. If you want to get better at flirting, flirt more. This doesn’t mean that you need to flirt with everyone that crosses your path though.
Rather instead, I would recommend practicing your flirting skills with someone who:
- You already know.
- Engage in conversations often.
- You have at least some sort of interest.
This will take a lot of the pressure off your shoulders, simply for the fact that they aren’t a stranger and you’ll feel more comfortable in the process.
Either way, practice makes perfect. Don’t worry about feeling uncomfortable when it comes to flirting because eventually, that feeling will completely dissapear.